Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Here It Is

I have too many posts already... but they are old.... this one is new.  Here you will find mostly a stream-of-consciousness.  Hopefully you will like most of my thoughts; some you won't.

Hello familiar friends and strange friends.  Would it sound too new-agey if I said there are no strangers?

I am bored, with a lot on my mind.  I can't promise an orderly arrangement on this blog, just thoughts being thrown out into the Internet Wild, hoping they will be caught by a reader or two.  Or maybe I just need to say things for the sake of saying them.

On with the show.

One thing I've noticed we learn as adults is that we're not important as we once thought we were in youth.  It's because the world grows as we age.  At 35 years old I miss the beaming smiles of teachers as they put gold stars on my homework.  Yep, teachers gave wonderful pats-on-the-back.  Something I have learned is that there aren't many out there giving me the metaphorical "gold star" anymore.  Well, some do, but the numbers have dwindled.  This is something I miss.  I enjoyed being made to feel special.  Life teaches some hard lessons.

I don't like not being rich.  I want to come across a large amount of money so I can pay my bills and buy things like the camera I've been drooling over.  I hate being poor and wish a millionaire would tell me that today is my lucky day, that I can move out of the government subsidized apartment complex where the cops are frequently seen because who-knows-what goes on here.  The odds of winning the lottery are nearly microscopic, so I'm not even going to play.

I used to have a job with a good income until I got sick.  I went from being middle-class to lower-class.  Sisyphus' rock tumbled down but it doesn't seem to be going back up.  Yet, the Damoclean sword probably hangs over all our heads, for even I am certainly more fortunate than many in this world.

Even though I got sick, my life has more meaning than it did in the past.  I finally got over a bump that was holding me back in life.  Now I am freer than I was, and hopefully someday I'll be freer than I am now.  Life is a growth process.  Some days it seems like my seed is dormant, and others I grow like a weed.

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